“To be beautiful and natural is the birthright of every woman.”

Wise words from Constance Bennett, a stunning starlet who wooed the gentlmen (she was married five times) and captured audiences for more than five decades.

In this sweet little moving picture, Constance Benneett shares her beauty tips - from exfoliation to insight on makeup basics.

What a treat to observe true old fashioned glamour…

A handshake is as good as a promise. Well, at least it used to be. I remember when I was a young boy my grandfather explained to me how business deals in the good old days were often concluded with merely a hand shake, which was as good as a signature. It seems that over time the integrity of this informal agreement has sadly all but disappeared. It can be very disheartening for someone who has honorable intentions to be painted with the same broad brush as the unscrupulous. And in our changed world people are skeptical. erring on the side of caution. The verbal promise sealed with a handshake is no longer the acceptable way.

The importance of impressing upon young children why keeping promises is the right thing to do cannot be overstated. I was recently listening to the tale of a small child who had spent all of his allowance on the single purchase of a much-coveted toy and then wanted more allowance for something else. This form of impatience is not unusual to find in small children and is merely their way of expanding boundaries by trying to push limits. However, an allowance by its very definition is designed to be doled out at predictable intervals in predictable amounts of money. This sort of deal must be upheld by both parties and it this interaction which teaches children respect for one another and for one system by which our society operates and remains healthy. You the parent have made the promise of an allowance and the child promises to accept and use the allowance for whatever he chooses. With any luck, we will have learned how this exchange works by the time we reach adolescence. If we haven’t we are likely to face some pretty difficult life lessons just when we least expect them.

Most of us were taught as young children that a promise is a promise and that breaking one is a really bad thing to do. Yet most of us have broken at least one promise along the way somewhere, often times because circumstances in our lives have changed in one way or another and we can no longer hold up our end of the deal.

On a cautionary note, I understand that we can be prone to making promises based more on emotion than on good, common sense when we are in a heightened state of emergency than when we are calm,cool and collected. In desperation we will agree to almost anything. In some cases, we can be bullied into agreeing to do something which we really do not want to do. This is an inappropriate form of making a promise and should be avoided at all costs. The results can be disastrous if taken to the extreme and this ploy needs to be recognized and diffused immediately.

Inevitably we run into a situation where a promise has been broken. In some financial situations, there are legally binding contracts which can be exercised at the discretion of the lender. In other more casual arrangements there is only a verbal agreement. One option for dealing with this unpleasantness is to put the responsibility of clearing the debt in the hands of the borrower. This way, they are making a deal on their own terms and in a way the deal is with themselves as much as it is with the lender. And because a promise has so much power, it it often used as the final bargaining chip when all else has failed. Clearly this can lead to a broken promise, and it can also lead to a broken friendship. People put a lot of stock in one’s ability to keep one’s word.

There are people whom we come across in person or hear about from others who have a well established reputation for keeping their word. These people we look up to as mentors. There was a time when politicians, media personalities, and sports heroes filled this bill. Sadly, this has all changed. We can no longer believe much of anything a politician says; we can believe little of what we hear or read in main stream media; and sports heros tarnish their reputations with alarming skill and regularity. However, we all know a few people who speak kindly of others, who steer clear of exaggeration, and who have the ability to see both sides of a discussion and weigh the pros and cons thoughtfully. These people help us maintain morality and integrity in our lives.

In Miguel Ruiz’s remarkable book, The Four Agreements, one of the keys is to be true to your word. This cardinal principle is a foundation building block for any relationship, whether it be of a personal nature or a societal one. Think hard before making a promise. It’s a big deal!

Jay Remer is the Etiquette Guy, and is certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol.

As part of this literary residence, taxidermist Lee Paton will be hosting ‘Stuffing Peter Rabbit’, renowned gastronomic architects Bompas & Parr’s will be creating a ‘Literary Feast’ and Damian Barr’s now legendary Literary Salon returns.

Here’s a taste for the programme, crammed with informative and agreeable events throughout the week that will both bewilder and charm visitors to the library.

Stuffing Peter Rabbit: Taxidermy is the art of making that which is dead appear to be very much alive.  Lee Paton, celebrated taxidermist for one day only will tell the tale of Peter Rabbit, bringing one very dead rabbit back to life, happily ever after.  A most delightful tale will prevail in a celebration of Hendrick’s libations.  Saturday 19th May, 3-4pm (Tickets £10 – limited to 75 per session)

A Literary Feast: At night, the Hendrick’s Library of Delightfully Peculiar Writings turns into a marvellously revered dining chamber. Renowned gastronomic architects Bompas & Parr host a delightfully peculiar dining extravaganza a most majestic setting.  Four literary-themed courses, all with matching Hendrick’s cocktails.  Expect delightfully peculiar ingredients presented in a most curious fashion, culminating with an explosive dessert. 23rd May, 7 – 11pm (Tickets £50 – limited to 50 for the evening)

The Quintessential Anthology of Gin…and Hendrick’s in Particular: Hosted by Hendrick’s minister for unusualness.  Gin has come far from the days of Hogarth. This rare opportunity to taste the constituent distillates of the award winning gin will surprise and delight novices & aficionados alike.  Monday 21st, Thursday 24th May 2-4pm  (Tickets £9 – limited to twenty per session)

A Genteel Tipple through Gin in Literature: Hosted by David Piper, Gin has fuelled many legendary writers, unforgettable characters and gripping plots.  Come and enjoy some especially enlightening extracts and sample specially mixed cocktails.  All drinks included.  Thursday 17th, Sunday 20th, Saturday 26th May 6-7pm (Tickets £9, a ticket inc. drinks – limited to seventy five per session)

Delightfully Peculiar Writings Rewarded!: All visitors to the Hendrick’s Library throughout the Brighton Fringe Festival will be invited to contribute a most peculiar libation-inspired story to Hendrick’s ever evolving collection of curious literary tales. These unusual minds will be rewarded for their endeavours with delightful Hendrick’s tipples.   17th – 27th May, from 12-11pm (free to all, for full program timings visit www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk )

For information on Hendrick’s Library of Delightfully Peculiar Writings, visit: www.hendricksgin.com @hendricksginuk, to reserve places and book tickets, register at www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk.

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that there are some things we do for ourselves that should remain behind closed doors. Applying makeup is one such activity. Perhaps, it’s because I believe that lipstick, blush and mascara belong in one’s handbag or boudoir - not brought out to be shared with strangers in a moving carriage.

Yes, it’s true, I have witnessed such deportment on the underground and buses - I find it abominable and rather immodest. Shame on these creatures!

I only have to think of my dear grandmother who looked immaculate each time she stepped foot in the outside world - a lovely dress on, stockings on (of course!), hair set, and red lipstick freshly applied. Not only did my grandmother look lovely and like a true lady, but sharing the ritual of getting ready with the outside world was just a simple no-no.

Oh yes, I know, the world has become more casual in many ways - and I should accept that. However, I still believe that some activities - if not rituals - that should be left for us to finish before we leave our homes.

You wouldn’t dream of putting on deodorant or clipping your nails in public - now, would you? Well, this will be left for another post. Perish the thought of such behaviour!

In today’s fast-paced world, dating can often feel like entering a human jungle. But have things changed so much since a time that so many of us look back at on so fondly and romantically?

Take a little peek at this charming moving picture and see for yourself - even in a world that seems so civilised and “goody two-shoes”,  parents encouraged young lovers not to go “steady” too soon.

Going steady is a serious decision after all…enjoy!

As the month winds into those last lingering dog days of summer, I cannot help but reflect upon the travel habits of my fellow sunseekers and city-break culture vultures.

Believe it or not it begins with packing - yes, just like your mother taught you!

Since the advent of the trolley bag, the subways, underground and métro are clogged, the escalators impassable, and the general regard for others seems to have gone on holiday as well.

Not unlike a large dog, luggage needs to be kept on a short leash. This applies in the airport, on train platforms, on buses and on thoroughfares wide and narrow the world over.

People live and work in your holiday destination - unless you have chosen a genuine theme park for your vacation. Consider arriving outside normal rush hours when the teaming population is not already squeezed by inadequate infrastructure; your oversized luggage is not a welcome addition on a crowded commuter train.

Which brings us to the subject of downsizing. Do you really need so much? Think about what you really treasure (for me it’s a skin care bag - you can always pick up a t-shirt, an esthetician is another story), prioritise when you pack, and discard those items that inevitably make the return flight folded and never used.

Perhaps a carry-on is all you need. I am a strong proponent of the weekender bag. This little marvel can be safely stowed in the overhead cabin without the awkward wheels that get in every one’s way.

And when you disembark, you have the pleasure of stepping into an unfamiliar environment looking as though you belong.

Bonnes Vacances!

first published on September 9, 2009

Take a little peek at this charming moving picture to learn about balance, poise, skill, strength and confidence - all old school and true to form.

Essential and enjoyable viewing…

image source

You can only imagine our delight when the divine Twinkle Troughton sent us a sample of her Nanna Trudy’s work. You see, Twinkle just found some of the works from the early 50s tucked away in her family home, and is now reviving the work with a new collection of cards and home goodies. These will surely appeal to all illustration and stationery enthusiasts - we can’t wait to get our hands on these cards (and send one to all of our friends!).

Here is Vintage Trudy’s story and a sprinkling of her work:

Born in Amsterdam, Trudy’s childhood fell apart when in World War 2; her father joined the resistance movement and the family had to live under assumed names, in hiding, often eating no more than tulip bulbs.

At the age of 19, Trudy came to study nursing in Rugby, England and within months met the man she soon married. No guests at the wedding, just two witnesses, no honeymoon, but a trip to London Zoo. Pale, beautiful, thin, afraid of the sound of planes, in a foreign country, slowly Trudy saw a life that held promise and joy. Her pictures, all originals, drawn in 1951-52, reflect the life she so wanted to live.

Years later after Trudy passed away, these drawings by a much loved Nanna resurfaced. The family felt the drawings were too beautiful to be hidden away in an old sketchbook. In honour of Trudy and her dreams, and for thousands of women like her in those post war years, these drawings have been given new life. The drawings are not nostalgic reflections of an era gone by, but were created at he time and are as authentic and original as any vintage artefact you might find.

Vintage Trudy includes greeting cards and gift tags, aprons and cushion covers. The range will be expanding with new lines added as the venture grows. Vintage Trudy merchandise will be available online at http://etsy.com/shop/VintageTrudyOriginal.

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It is most important that etiquette is well practised in the office as it makes one’s day rather more pleasant.

Enjoy this charming motion picture from 1953 for some examples of what to do…and not to do. And the same lessons still apply to our modern age.

Only a short while ago, a friend commented on how disgusted he was looking out his office window and watching a group of people smoking, huddled around the front entrance to another building. What irked him was the careless disposal of their cigarette butts onto the sidewalk or into the street. This act is a crystal clear example of disrespect. But this arrogance - to which many smokers feel they are entitled - is not the entire picture. One might ask, “Why doesn’t the building provide suitable cigarette butt disposal receptacles; why don’t the smokers put their butts in their cigarette packs; why, why, why NOT?”

The list of arguments and suggestions are numerous. The basic principle of respect is what this simple act ignores completely. These folks have made a conscious choice to jeopardise their own health, which is their right. Being a reformed smoker, I sympathise with those who smoke and respect their choice. Quitting smoking requires a  very big commitment and is much easier said than done.

There is also plenty of proof of the hazards of second hand smoke, hence the reason smokers are forced out of doors in the first place.  Frankly, standing outside the entrance to a building and smoking does create an unpleasant atmosphere for others entering that building, another form of disrespect for others.

Flicking cigarette and cigar butts on the ground illustrates yet another case where entitlement takes hold. The thought process goes along these lines: “If I have to be inconvenienced to the point of being forced outside to have a smoke, I have every right to flick my butt into the street.” For some it is such a knee jerk reaction that it doesn’t seem to qualify as a conscious choice as much as a simple involuntary reaction. This is where disrespect is elevated to the level of arrogance.

Some civilised places have butt stops to stop flicking. That doesn't mean you should flick elsewhere. Shame on you!

This is why in front of some store fronts, cigarette butts can be seen strewn all over the sidewalk - even in my small town of St Andrews, New Brunswick - directly in front of a butt receptacle. Yet this behavior is evident in cities and towns everywhere. As a result, the responsibility to keep the sidewalks free of litter falls on the shoulders of the shopkeepers themselves, some of whom are oblivious to the eyesore and ignorant of the fact that their lack of caring is in and of itself, a form of disrespect.

I know that I make a point of picking up cigarete butts in front of and behind my building when the culprits are actually smoking. In some cases this has a positive effect, but not always.

One can stroll down the avenues of bustling New York City and see cigarette butts whisked away by an army of street cleaners. However, in smaller towns and villages, local pride can speak volumes to visitors on whom their entire economies depend.

This harkens back to the days when dogs could freely roam the street of cities and owners were not responsible for cleaning up after them. In fact, it wasn’t even considered necessary. Your dog would do its business in the street and the street sweeper would remove it in due course. I remember clearly the distinctive stench in cities like New York and especially Paris. Eventually, laws were enacted banning such irresponsible practices and the difference to these cities was dramatic. For the most part today people pride themselves in looking after their dogs responsibly.

Legislating human behavior has historically proven to be ineffective except in such obvious cases as traffic laws and human rights. Even then, people are constantly pushing the envelope. What, then, can we do?

One thing companies can do is to remind their employees that they are representing the company even when they are not working. Allowing workers to smoke during work outside an office building does indicate a lack of respect for the community if inadequate space and receptacles are not provided.

Therefore, it comes down to each of us who smoke to take the moment it requires to leave our surroundings the way we found them. Much like the sign in the airplane washroom which asks each occupant to wipe the sink so the next passenger has a clean place to wash their hands, we should also leave the streets and sidewalks as clean as they were when we walked onto them initially.

Please keep in mind that flicking a lighted cigarette butt anywhere is a potential fire hazard. It also is an opportunity to burn an animal’s feet, like a dog walking along the street where a cigarette butt has just been carelessly flicked.

Flicking your butt in the street, while driving a car, riding in a boat or even walking along a sandy beach or rocky coastline is just plain wrong. If this one careless thoughtless act were to be eliminated from our daily lives, it would send ripples of civility everywhere.

Jay Remer is the Etiquette Guy, and is certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol.

Images via Flickr: source and source